In a private coaching session with Jane (names have been changed to protect privacy), we were talking about how bad she felt that one of her clients was experiencing financial difficulty.  She was experiencing real angst and turmoil because she knew of the client’s financial hardship and felt guilty about charging them for her services.  At one point in the conversation, she said to me “I’m going to call them when we’re through with our session and tell them I am giving them a refund!”

This was not the first time Jane and I were having this type of conversation.  Jane is a wonderful coach and mentor but from time to time experiences boundary and deservabilty issues surrounding money.  Jane was projecting her own issues with money onto her coaching relationship with this client.

I knew that day was going to be a tough session and I was determined to shed light on this issue for Jane once and for all.  I decided to show Jane exactly what she was doing by deciding to “fix” her financial situation with me.

Jane became outraged when I suggested to her, that we reduce our number sessions since she was soon to be experiencing financial difficulty with her clients.  When I first asked the question, she started to agree with me and then, being the smart woman that she is immediately saw what I was trying to do.  I asked her how it felt that I had made a decision for her about her financial well-being.  Her response, “disempowering!”

When we make a decision for someone, for whom we are not responsible AND who has not asked for our input, we are not giving that person the opportunity to step up and be called forth in their spiritual evolution.  Instead we are perpetrating our insecurities onto that relationship.

If you have a client who is experiencing financial difficulty and they have ONLY shared that information with you, it is NOT your responsibility to offer to change the level of service being provided to them.  Is their responsibility to bring that subject forward to you.

If you make a decision for your client that they cannot afford your service, you are energetically saying to the Universe that you don’t need the money.  Again, this is not your responsibility.  If you are in a coaching relationship with your client then you can take it a step further and help them to see alternatives they may not be able to think of.  

Remember, you are only responsible for yourself.  It is not your job to fix the financial situation of your client. 

Do you know the real reason why you are in business?

The first response I hear most often to that question is to be of service.  That is a wonderful reason and very true for the majority of individuals in a service business, including myself.  However, there is a key component of to that answer that is missing.  That missing component is why so many of us experience difficulty manifesting abundance and prosperity in the form of money.  We have no trouble attracting clients, just attracting clients who can pay us.

That is why it is so important to be extremely clear with yourself about the real reason is why you are in business.  That reason is:

To be of service AND to provide those services in EXCHANGE for FINANCIAL COMPENSATION

That certainly sends a clear message to the Universe – doesn’t it?!

There is another form of payment that happens when we are being of service to our clients.  It is the gift of seeing how you have positively affected another human being and that gift fills you up. 

Consciously, we may believe that we deserve to be paid but somewhere in our unconscious mind, we don’t believe that we deserve any other form of payment.  Our conscious mind makes up 10% of our brain and our unconscious mind makes up over 90%.  The 90%  – unconsciously believing we don’t deserve any other form of payment – is the vibration that we are sending out in the Universe.

When you are struggling to make the mortgage payment each month, the worry and stress you are feeling comes through the service you are providing and is energetically felt by the client.  At first, it may not affect them and they will continue to work with you, but at some point the service they are receiving will no longer feel good and they will seek that service from another source.

Do you see how not knowing the real reason why you are in business compounds negatively upon itself?

When you are clear about your reason for being in business and you have that resonating in your body, mind and spirit that energy will emanate forth from you and you will attract clients who will willingly pay you for your services.  You in turn will receive abundance and prosperity in the form of the seeing how you have positively impacted another human being and monetarily.  Resulting in ever expanding abundance and prosperity for everyone involved.

Just remember:

□ You are in the business of providing a quality service.

□ Clients hire and pay you because they are in need of those services.

□ You provide these services for financial compensation.

Repeat these three lines, as often as needed.

Being the owner of an accounting and bookkeeping services firm, my company has a front row seat to how “well” our client’s business are doing. One particular client, made the decision to wind down operations and close the magazine he was trying to get off the ground.  At the time this decision was made, there was a tremendous amount of debt on the books, investors who needed to be notified, a tax return that needed to be completed as well as some bookkeeping work to wrap up.

When the owner called me with his decision to wind down operations, he asked me if I would assist him with the accounting work that needed to be done and if I wouldn’t mind being paid after the work was completed. Red flag!  My gut instinct told me to get paid up front (as I do with all of my other clients and had in the past with this particular client) but I felt sorry for the financial situation this young man was in and I agreed to let him pay me once the work was complete.

My firm went about doing the work and coordinating with the attorney in charge of winding down operations. As soon as our part was complete I received a letter in the mail from that very same attorney stating that the company was bankrupt and we would not be paid for the services we provided. Needless to say I was a little angry!

We had spent at least a two weeks preparing the information that was needed on the word of this young man that we would be paid.  We also had first-hand knowledge that he received a severance package. I had made a classic mistake, I allowed my client’s financial woes to become my financial woes, and as a result my firm walked away without being paid while he did get paid. My decision placed his well-being, both financial and spiritual, above my own, and thought because I performed the services in good faith, that he would in return, act in good faith. It was a tough, expensive lesson to learn.

Since then, I make it a point to engage my prospective clients in a dialog that will provide me with clues to the financial condition of their business. For example, I’ll ask a prospective client “What impact will our service have on assisting you to grow your business?” or “What direct impact will our service have on your business and how will you measure that impact – through the acquisition of new customers, increased revenue, etc.”

I’m really curious as to what their response to those two questions will be.  I like to make the questions thought provoking and open-ended because my main objective is to start a dialog, to obtain more clues obtain more clues about the financial condition of that business. 

The other thing I do is ask those same questions a couple of different ways.  When you ask the same question a couple of different ways and you receive different answers or inconsistent answers you will be able to string together new questions that will help you to get a better picture of what is going on.

With existing clients I make sure I have clear, concise, boundaries surrounding how and when I will be paid because once you provide the service, as you saw from my story, you are left with little recourse other than hiring an attorney or going to small claims court to obtain payment – both of which will cost you more time and money!

It always amazes me how The Money Conversation™ appears in my life and either teaches me a lesson or reminds me just how far along the path towards healing my relationship with money has come.  Just this morning while making my bed I was reminded of a situation I had long forgotten about.

A couple of years ago, my friend Sara suggested that I hire her friend from NYC to perform a Feng Shui consult of my home.  The NYC friends would come down, do the consult and then we would all go out to dinner. 

That evening when we went out to dinner and the bill came to the table, Sara announced that she and I would split the bill and treat the NYC friends and that the next day she had a prior engagement and I would be brining them back to the train station.  Prior to this announcement at dinner, I was not privy to Sara’s plan.

I felt ambushed by Sara and this was not the first time I found myself in this sort of situation with her.  I didn’t know what to say or do at that moment so I went along with the situation even though financially I was not in a position to afford both the Feng Shui consult and treating them to dinner.

So what is The Money Conversation™ in this story?  The Money Conversation are those stories we tell ourselves about money.  There are always at least two conversations or multiple conversations going on depending on how many people are involved in the situation. 

My Money Conversation:  At the time of this situation, I allowed my boundaries to be taken advantage of.  At dinner when Sara announced that we would be treating them to dinner and I would be taking them to the train station the next day, I could have spoken up and asked to speak with privately or had been honest with the table and say that treating them to dinner was not a part of my financial plan for the evening. 

What’s the worse thing that could have happened?  There would have been a moment of awkward silence?

Instead I became angry at myself and Sara.  I allowed this to brew under the surface and eventually it came to a head and resulted in our friendship being severely damaged.

Sara’s Money Conversation:  Whenever the NYC friends visited, Sara would pick them up from the train station and treat them for the whole weekend – what ever they did, she footed the bill and then afterward complain about it!  Also, Sara had just gone through a divorce and was not in the financial position to be treating anyone to dinner let alone a whole weekend of events.

 What was going on with Sara is that she was feeling obligated to the NYC friends because they helped her leave a marriage that was not right for her.  Guilt was fueling Sara to spend money she did not have.

As you can see from both of our money conversations™, it’s never about the money but rather the emotional place we are operating from.  In this situation, it just showed up through money. 

That is why it is so important to check in with your emotional guidance scale and determine if you are operating from a lower, slower energetic vibration (anger, guilt, insecurity, unworthiness) or a higher energetic vibration (hopefulness, joy, appreciation). 

When we are emotionally operating from a lower energetic vibration it is harder to create a solution that is in your highest and best interest.  At these moments, you must be willing to be courageous and take a stand for yourself.  One of the best ways I have learned to do this for myself is to PAUSE and BREATHE.

PAUSING AND BREATHING allows me center myself and create space to move to a higher emotional vibration, thus creating a solution that is more in alignment with my highest and best interest.

So, the next time you find yourself in an awkward money situation remember to PAUSE and BREATHE!

In the late fall of 2008 I made a promise to myself to clear out what was no longer working in my life and figure out what I truly wanted for myself.  What I didn’t know then was that I was jumping on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride!

The past year has stressful, eye opening and full of blessings beyond my imagination!  I now clearly see without a doubt how each of is 100% responsible for our current situation.  We are constantly manifesting – our thoughts and feelings are what bring about the events we experience – the good ones and the ones with all of those ugly warts.  They show up and lead us to where we need to be healed.

My healing usually manifests itself through my financial well being.  In the past year I experienced a whole host of financial wake-up calls from  paying for a service and not receiving the quality that was promised to receiving an unexpected cash influx only to have it go immediately out the door to cover an unexpected expense.

Hitting my pocketbook is how the Universe gets my attention.  When my cash flow stagnates it has nothing to do with my earning potential (I know how to make money) and everything to do with my self worth.

For me, my root issue is feeling supported.  When I don’t feel supported, I don’t feel safe and those are the feelings I am sending out into the Universe further perpetrating the experience that no longer serves me.   Money is repelled by negativity.

To counterbalance this I have incorporated into my daily life time for ME – yoga, mediation, taking myself out for breakfast.  I get bored easily so I like to shake things up by doing something a little different every day.  An important component of each activity, no matter which one I choose is envision my heart’s desire.  I play it like it’s a movie in my head AND I feel the joy, light-heartedness and happiness of what I am seeing.  That is how to bring about the positive change we want to experience – see it and feel it as though it is already happening!!

We all are deserving of the abundant riches the Universe offers each of us every single day.  Take a closer look at your financial hiccups and see if you can see the recurring pattern.

Join me for my free call on Wednesday, March 10th at 7pm EST.

I kept hitting a roadblock so I decided to revisit and study the Universal Laws of abundance and prosperity.  Pretty much whenever you read about abundance and prosperity, gratitude it is one of the keys that leads to abundance and prosperity.  As I read the word gratitude, my intuition told me this is where I was hitting that roadblock.

I know I am grateful and yet I am having a hard time feeling gratitude.  Then it dawned on me!  I had no idea how gratitude felt in my body!  So before going to bed the other night I asked my guides, guardians and helpers to please show me why I am having difficulty feeling gratitude. 

The answer did come to me and it hit me like a bolt of lighting! Underneath it all I didn’t feel as though I deserved what I had in my life.  I felt guilty. Guidance further went on to show me that I am capable of feeling gratitude however, my feelings of non-deservability were overshadowing my ability to express gratitude in a deep and meaningful way!

So I have began searching, delving deeper into why I didn’t feel as though I deserved abundance.  The next level again took me by surprise.  Old situations began to resurface where I still had unresolved feelings – guilt, resentment and shame.  These situations are long past and yet I had not forgiven myself for being human and doing the best I possibly could at the time.

Did I learn from these situations – absolutely yes!  Have I repeated the pattern – probably!  But holding onto the resentment and shame was serving no one, especially me.  In your life experiences you will find that, when the good you wish has not appeared, it is usually because you need to release and let go of something to make room for it.  In my case that was forgiving myself.

Forgiveness creates a vacuum within which your desired good can begin manifesting.  Nature abhors a vacuum, and when you begin moving out of your life what you do and do not want, you automatically are making way for what you do want.

Perform this exercise in forgiveness to create a vacuum within which your desired good can begin manifesting.  Whenever you dare to form a vacuum the substance of the Universe rushes to fill that empty space.  This applies on the spiritual, mental and physical planes of life.

Exercise:  Forgiveness is the Answer

1.  Find a quiet spot and take several deep breaths.  Allow your mind to wander and let rise to the top anything you are out of harmony with, feel badly towards or are concerned about.  Have you criticized or gossiped about anyone?  Are you involved with any legal matters that are causing you stress?

2.  Acknowledge the situations and/or names that come to your consciousness by writing them down on a piece of paper.  Do not judge or edit.

3.  State the name each person on your list and repeat the following:

 “I fully and freely forgive you.  So as far as I am concerned, that incident between us is finished forever.  I do not wish to hurt you.  I wish you no harm.  I am free and you are free and all is well between us again.”

 Repeat this step as many times as needed for each situation and or name until you feel a sense of release.  (Your body will feel lighter.)

 When you have gone through all of the names on the list, shred the paper and throw it away.

 4.  Then forgive yourself by declaring the following:

 “The Universe’s forgiving love has set us free.  Divine love now produces perfect results and all is again well between us.  I behold you with the eyes of love and I glory in your success, prosperity and complete good.  I am forgiven and governed by Universal love alone and all is well.”

 Repeat this step as many times as needed for each name until you feel at peace. 

 5.  Thank the Universe.

Join me for my free call on Wednesday, March 10th at 7pm EST.

Remember the Dentist in Sheep’s Clothing from my earlier blog post? Nice guy – personable, successful, busy, – knows his stuff.  He tells you that you need $16,000 worth of dental work and then he rattles off all the things that are going to be included in the $16,000.  He doesn’t provide you with a written document, nor does he tell you of all the things which is the most important and which can wait.  You cringe because, according to him you need the work and you know that you don’t have $16,000 lying around, let alone lying around for dental work.  He says, not to worry he can get you a payment plan.  He then scurries you off to meet with the person at the desk who then has you fill out an application for the dollars.  The receptionist schedules your next appointment and you are out the door.  What just happened here, you ask!

Before you knew it you were basically railroaded into signing up for services that you don’t understand and now are responsible for not only paying back at a 24% interest rate.  Guess what? The Dentist received his money and his sales goal for the month, he doesn’t care if you pay the finance company or not. 

These events that I experienced of course piqued my curiosity and I asked the dentist how he arrives at the “dental plan fee”.  He was quite honest with me (once he knew I wasn’t going to sign up for any of his services) and said he picks a number based on how close or far he is from his target for the month.

Some may regard his tactic as bold and aggressive.  In my opinion they are unethical and out of integrity.  The dentist’s main concern is how much revenue he can earn from each mouth walking through the door.  He is not caring for the person. 

The other thing that was obvious about the culture of the office is that each and every staff person who worked there felt the pressure of having to bring in revenue.  He made sure that the hygienist scheduled the next cleaning appointment.  At the desk, the receptionist not only made sure I had another appointment they wanted to know if I wanted to purchase any products. 

Don’t get me wrong, I think everyone deserves to earn a good living but you don’t have to use pressure and scare tactics to make money.

Join me for my free call on Wednesday, March 10th at 7pm EST.

We are all familiar with the story of Red Riding Hood who goes to visit her Grandma only to find the wolf disguised and sitting in Grandma’s bed.  Little Red Riding Hood knew something was off, trusted her intuition and kept asking questions until she got the answers she was looking for!

A couple of years ago, I encountered a wolf in sheep’s clothing when I was looking for a new dentist.  I asked my friends who they used as a dentist and ended up going to see one of the recommendations I had received.  The office was state of the art.  The dentist was very impressive – wonderful business savvy and very knowledgeable about his profession. 

The dental office offered a special package for new patients that included a cleaning of my teeth, x-rays and an evaluation of what other dental work I may need all for $99.  The cleaning was performed by a dental hygienist and the dentist looked inside my mouth to perform the evaluation.  After this was done, he left the room and said he would be back in a few moments with my dental plan, a summary of all the dental work I would need.  About ten minutes later came back in and rattled off a laundry list of items that according to him required correcting in my mouth with a price tag of $16,000.  He then started to rattle off my payment options.

I put my hand up and stopped the dentist right there and said before we get to payment options, I need to fully understand what services are required, why and in order of importance.  The dentist stopped me and said – no I don’t give written estimates because most people would do what you are doing.  I responded that his approach was unethical – steamrolling a patient into services they did not understand and most likely could not afford. 

Then it dawned on my, this dentist was in total fear around money and used bullying tactics to bring in revenue!  His tactic reminded me of that old con artist game, the shell game.  This is where they place an object under one of three cups, move them around and you receive the prize only if you guess which cup the object is under, but it’s under none of the cups.

Had I not had the courage to put my hand up and stop the dentist I would have been saddled with repaying $16,000 plus interest for dental work, all of which was not necessary!  (I did go to another dentist and the work that I needed was not even a third of the price I was quoted.) 

It is not easy, when you are in a situation like this to stop the train in its tracks and believe me I felt like I was on a runaway train.  The point I want to leave you with it, if you don’t understand what you are being charged for, DON”T BE AFRAID TO ASK QUESTIONS and stop someone whenever you are unclear about what something is going to cost you!  A good way to know you are in confusion is when your mind is racing and you feel pressured to come up with a quick response.  Know it is okay to say, I need time to think this over.  The other party may not be happy with your decision but your pocketbook certainly will be!

Join me for my free call on Wednesday, March 10th at 7pm EST.

My relationship with money last week was stuck in the mud!  A whole series of events occurred when upon first glance I took to be bad – another client leaving, a client being difficult during the re-negotiation of fees.  I could go on, however I am sure that you get the point.  The more my mind focused on the negative side, the thicker the mud was becoming and the incoming flow of money came to a standstill.  I was in panic mode!

I was placing my emphasis on all of the negative aspects of what had happened and in turn was experiencing more of the same.  I had to get out of my funk and I had the very tools in toolbox to help me turn this situation around! 

I started practicng the PAUSE and BREATHE technique taught to me by the creator of Know Soul’s Language, Jennifer Urezzio (http://www.knowsoulslanguage.net).  I did this for almost half a day.   Everytime I felt my mind placing more weight on the negative than the positive I repeated the PAUSE and BREATHE.  Knowing this technique help set the foundation for me to move forward.

My next step was to do something that lightened up my mood towards money.  Sometimes this is hard for me to do, because I am so analytical.  I really have to demonstrate will and determination to get out of my head and into my heart to become lighthearted about money.  I decided to keep a money journal in the notes column of my weekly calendar.  It is here I began tracking all of my money inflows – actual money coming in, any type of savings I experienced and any money that I found.

This was lightening me up however not to the level I wanted to attain so, I decided something silly was in order!  I created my very own money song and dance just like Steve Carrell’s character did in the movie Evan Almighty. Although I think his was a just a celebration dance.  It is so easy to foget how important it is to celebrate and be grateful for what we receive.

By the end of the week, the money was flowing again and what I had thought to be negative events have actually turned out to be blessings in disguise. 

Your Money Alignment Exercise

Are you feeling a bit stuck about money?  Here is an exericse to help you back into the flow.

1.  When you are feeling heavy hearted, PAUSE and BREATHE.  Repeat this as many times and for as long as necessary.  If possible, change your environment even if just for a few minutes – go outside, take a quick walk, shake your body all over.

 2.  Find a visible place where you can write down all of the dollars that you receive each day.  Don’t forget to include revenue from clients, savings received from coupons, found money, etc.  Total this every day.

 3.  Total at the end of the day.  Stand up and do your money song and dance!

Join me for my free call on Wednesday, March 10th at 7pm EST.